I never thought of myself as a victim, and it took me a long time to realize that what happened to me was wrong. I was 15 and I was in a ‘relationship’ with a guy. I went over to his house after school, he offered me a rip of a cart, I took it, and then he offered me water. I drank the entire bottle of water, it was a mini bottle, and I didn’t think anything was wrong. He asked me a moment later if I tasted anything, turns out the water bottle was full of vodka. I am not entirely sure what the truth is because I never tasted the alcohol, but it effected me quickly. I was led up to his room, everything was ok until he started initiating sex with me. I didn’t say anything I didn’t do anything I just let it happen until I was in a position where I could not lift my head- there was nothing I could do to make it stop, I couldn’t move. My head felt like cement, and I knew I was going to pass out. He lifted my head when it was all over and yelled at me to look at him, so that he knew I was conscious, but I was just barely and he knew this. More happened afterward, he made me give him head, and I wish I could have stood up for myself, but I was so tired and drowsy. I thought I was the one In the wrong, for getting too fucked up. It took me months for me to realize what happened to me was wrong, it took me until I shared my story with a friend and they had to tell me that what happened to me was wrong. He even admitted what he did to me, drilling the reality even further into my head. I now know that what happened to me was real and it was not ok. I hope my story can make other people feel like there not alone.